Monday, July 7, 2014

I quit.

Black Sheep in the Workplace.

So today I my first attempt at making homemade shampoo. As always, I rushed it and didn't read directions and ended up with a head full of apple cider vinegar and a short drive to work. Now obviously I had known it looked a little rough all day, but I thought I would just throw it up when I got to work and be completely fine. Wrong. I was absolutely humiliated in front of an entire group of co-workers saying I looked like complete shit. At first I was in shock and attempted to laugh it off. But when I got home, I realized how out of line my boss was in making those comments towards me. Friends or not, I refuse to be treated in such a manor. I feel like this runs rapid. A person obtains a little bit of power and completely abuses it. If you are different you are outcast among the group. Today I have realized that life is too short to subject myself to such cruelty. You can fail even in a safe job, so why wouldn't you do what you love? I will spend the next few weeks looking for different avenues in which I do not have to participate in the normal work environment. I eat bad there, I downgrade people, I'm always on edge, and anxiety levels go through the roof. I don't have to surround myself with people that I can't stand just to make ends meet. Abuse in any form is not okay and I refuse to engage in something I don't support anymore. We steal from thousands of people by marking rates up, stealing trades, and ripping off customers to make an extra buck. I will not partake in stealing money from hard working people again. You know what,  I'm glad I'm the black sheep. I don't see anything okay in how they treat people. I don't see anything okay with how they treat each other. I refuse to be a part of it any longer.

I quit....

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Why a Tiny House?

A Tiny House.

Recently, I have came to the conclusion  that I would like to construct and reside in in a Tiny House. Now to some, this has come as a shocker. Nevertheless, I have received feedback from both sides of the spectrum. Some people have supported my idea  and went as far as to donate money to the cause on my gofundme site. Others have ridiculed me and said the idea was "stupid" or "crazy". However, to these people and others I feel like I owe an explanation to for my reasoning behind wanting a Tiny House.

So Why a Tiny House?

I have grown up in middle class America. I was a child of the recession. Through this, I watched numerous families break up and in turn lose their homes to the banks because of lack of payment. Before my parents divorce, I remember every single fight starting about money. Money seemed to rule the world around me even as a child. I remember my mother struggling and working several jobs at a time to try to keep our heads above water and pay the mortgage. But even with that amount of pressure we lost. With insane interest rates and less than average income we soon lost our home. The house that my parents had worked so long and hard for was gone. Just like that. Foreclosed. Years of building, planning, and paying for nothing. At first, I felt anger towards my parents for not being able to manage their money correctly. Then one day, I took another look. In today's society, material possessions are the height of ones life. We WORK to LIVE and LIVE to WORK to just obtain simple things that make us no more happy than we were before we acquired them 40% above cost.

What Changed ME?

However, it didn't really hit me until my most recent move how messed up my perception of the sense of "home" and "happiness" was. I had gotten out of a lease and had to move my stuff as quickly as possible. I was required to move so much STUFF out of my 990ft town home in a short amount of time. The amount of effort to do this was unbelievable. However, through the carrying of box after box into a storage unit really put things in perspective for me. 90% of this stuff that I was carrying, I hadn't even touched in years. Other than a few simple items like a laptop, clothing, and the basic necessities, the other objects had not been showed attention from myself or children, with its only company being dust. Now, I have always been environmentally conscious, but this epiphany caused a sort of movement in my soul. My carbon footprint at twenty-two years of age was huge along with my debt ratio. You see, I was told if I acquired all these objects, I would be content with life. I NEEDED these things to live the American dream. I worked countless hours at numerous jobs and had taken out loans just to "provide" for my children with these things. I was stuck in a materialistic mindset that in order to be a "good parent" my children must have the latest toys, clothes, and other items. But that isn't it at all. The majority of time I did have off of work, I spent cleaning or on the phone with bill collectors trying to figure out what "payment plan" would best fit me for my acquired debt. But then it clicked. To be a GOOD PARENT I need to spend quality time with my children building a relationship rather than filling it with preconceived ideas that the media has placed into my head since birth. There is no real life Malibu Barbie Dream home that I could buy that would make up for the time I was spending mentally and physically away from my loved ones. So then, I woke up. I decided to try the Tiny life. Living simply and humbly with the ones I care the most about. Defining home as a certain type of energy that is emitted when you are in a place surrounded by LOVE rather than possessions. Consuming less and doing my part to make this planet healthy again. The majority of air pollution is emitted in the development. I would no longer be a part of that cycle. TO SEE THE CHANGE, you must first BE THE CHANGE. So this is why I am pursuing my Tiny House project. To create a healthy living situation for myself, children, and the environment.

How you could help?

Living Tiny might not be for everyone, but I believe it is meant for me. Between college, working, and being a single parent my funds are already stretched to the max, this is why I am asking for Donations to help fund my project. I obviously realize that not everyone has the extra money to help a cause like mine and that's okay! Kind words and advice are also very much appreciated! Light and Love my friends.<3 - Donate :) - LIKE MY PROJECT PAGE  - FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER

"When the Last Tree Is Cut Down, the Last Fish Eaten, and the Last Stream Poisoned, You Will Realize That You Cannot Eat Money"

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

One never appreciates dinner alone.

In the dimly lit restraunt I sit.
Sipping my miso soup observing the common folk that inhabitants the remnants of this restraint. I hear light jazz in the background with a hint of Cuban flaire. I think about my life. About the co conversations around me. We are so little. We are of an entire entity but of so little impact among this over populated planet. I can read their energies so well. The divorced dad trying to hard to win over his prior to puberty son who has no more I interest in him as he does the weather. The couple attempting to make small talk and an ever decaying relationship. I hear the hum of the fish tank. Speaking all the stories that have been told in this quiet quaint sushi bar. I am wonderful.

Saturday, June 14, 2014


It seems, I have never really stuck with anything. I've changed hobbies constantly. Became very excited about something then completely over it a few days later. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to change. Be more intelligent. Be awake. Be free.

Planting a Willow.

A weeping willow has been my favorite tree since as far back as I can remeber. It has filled my sketch pads and gamer tags for years. I can't think of more of a wonderful thing a mother and daughter can do together. We can plant a tree and watch it flourish as the years go by. And when I die, she can spread my ashes there. Deep under the willow tree. I can be consumed within it's roots. Taken up, and reaching towards the heavens. I will sit a top the branches and watch the world pass before me. 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014


You are not confined to a town you are not confined by a group of people. Stop thinking the world and life is so small. It is amazing. Travel. Experience things. Don't live in fear. Live enlightened and in love with your life. If you don't like something change it. Stop living in fear. Society raised me to be afraid of everything. And I won't do it anymore. The hardest thing to do is look inside yourself at your own flaws and change. Get out of feeling like the victim and change. I feel enlightened. Society makes it hard with expenses for you to get out. But with discipline you can get out.

EduKation 2014.

What does today's school system prepare you for? It prepares you for failure. The public education system is a joke. As I look back, the only thing I really learned how to do was regurgitate useless information. There was no hands on learning. There was no class that taught be how to budget. How to grow my own food. How to escape a system that is as corrupt  as they come. Look at the lunch we were provided everyday. Full of sodium, artificial coloring's, and my favorite, genetically modified ingredients. The average public school receives .92 cents for  each child. We are taught that success can only be measured by what college you get into, what GPA you receive, and even what sports team you get recruited for. There is no honor in being different or learning a different way than the standard. You are claimed unintelligent and even "slow" if you do not comprehend their meaningless lessons. Not that you are overwhelmed by the information, its just that you simply can not retain it in the methods in which they are teaching you. The state approved methods. The ones that big business employees to foster the knowledge of today's young. Shape and mold their minds to be 9-5 sheep. Totally asleep and unaware of anything that is going on other than what  they hear on the idiot box. Fielded and herded into crowded hauls like cattle. Made to feel out of the ordinary or weird if they express themselves in a different way than the other mindless majority of the population. As educators, they say they don't want to divide us, but that's all they do. They create separate classes within the confinements of a school building. Dumbing us down with fluoride rinses and out of date text book material. Giving us meals with the same nutritional value as the ones they serve in our state prisons.We fight over things like the pledge and evolution. & yet, we fail to acknowledge global warming, the clean water crisis, and the current state of Syria. We have candy bar selling contests and pep rally's where it's acceptable to run around like a barking baphoons. Even as going as far as making a "dummy" of the other teams star player and pulverizing them publicly. Rather than teaching love for all cultures, we discourage it.The values instilled on our children are materialistic. There is no class to teach them how to love the earth. No class to teach them how to love each other. And no class to teach them how to balance their energies to make an impact for the greater good, rather than just themselves. I shake my head at what our public school system has become. Until we change, there will be NO change.